Usually, if I'm lucky, I get a window seat on the bus to the station. The feeling of cool wind hitting my face as the bus moves through the sticky atmosphere is precious as is the feeling of traveling with the masses. But most precious are the new observations I make everyday as I travel down the city streets that have now become so familiar to me. Today on my way to the station I caught sight of a sign near a certain St.Blaise Church which read, "don't let this day pass without doing something to make your dreams come true." I dream. I dream that maybe I will be able to change the lives of the little kids I work with. I dream that I might inspire one of them to dream. I dream that someday they will be able to fulfill every single dream of theirs. And everyday that I watch these kids learn, question, think and achieve, my dreams come true. As I watched that sign go by, I realized how privileged I am to be given the opportunity to chase after my dreams everyday, how fortunate I am to have the resources to do so and how incredibly lucky I am to be encouraged and supported in all my ventures. Not everyone is so privileged.
The more I get to know the kids, the more aware of their astounding creativity I become. The other day we did a drawing activity about dreams. And for the first time, Roshni didn't copy off of Saiyma. It is unfathomable how scared of being wrong she is sometimes. But she's slowly building confidence to say and draw what her heart desires. It gives me so much happiness to see how far she has come. I've come to realize that she loves to draw flowers. And Saiyma loves to draw houses with mango trees on the side. And Salim - he loves lines and shapes. And little Nagma...well she loves everything. I call her "meri chotti bandar" - my little monkey - because she's always climbing up something or someone.
When I'm with the kids, I realize how vulnerable I am - to them, to my aspirations for them, and to reality. I want to be able to promise them the world. But I cannot - and that is the most difficult thing for me to face. I'm always wishing I knew more, had more time, or could be more helpful. And often, I can only console myself with the thought that it is only if I try that I may someday succeed in doing all those things. I remind myself that in the end, achieving dreams is only so beautiful, so meaningful, and so very worth it when we chase after them with our entire hearts and souls - undeterred by failure, unafraid of falling, unrestrained by barriers.
There are so many times I feel as if I have failed - as if I've fallen flat on my face, as if I will never be able to get back up. But then I look up and I see Roshni finally beginning to speak and draw her own thoughts, and Saiyma learning that reality is not a limitation, and Nagma singing a song that she has been dying to share with us, and Salim coming to school everyday even though he's the only boy that does so. I look up and I see that I have done exactly what I came to do. I look up and see my dreams coming true.
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